"Phallic" Lighthouse Sparks Debate at Island Council Meeting (Motor Town)

 27 August 2025

 

Three Oji Island residents made the trip from the southern island to Jeju City to protest a lighthouse. The citizens claimed to have a petition to remove the structure due to its resemblance to male genitalia.

 

"We're trying to raise kids and livestock here, and there's this big old willy-looking thing on the horizon.  It just ain't right," complained Digger Schmidt, who lives in Ara. "So what if we're way down south and never really leave the island. This is an abomination!"

If you squint real hard, it might look like one. Maybe.


 

When Island Council Chairman Tac asked to see the petition, however, Schmidt initially balked at handing it over. But after some persuasion from Tac and other Council members, Schmidt acquiesced. There were three signatures.

 

"Yeah, well, these three signingatures (sic) represent all of us down there, but yous (sic) guys wouldn't know.  Y'all puddin' pops probably never been to Oji," protested Vinnie DiMeglio of Gapa. 

 

Unbeknownst to DiMeglio, however, Council members Bubba and Mike live on Oji Island, and PD spokesperson Milez resides in the Sanho area. When  Tac mentioned this to the three petition holders, Schmidt wrinkled his nose, snatched the petition back, and beckoned his companions to follow. Schmidt and DiMeglio stormed out of the meeting, but returned seconds later to collect Rolf Bing, who remained to stare at the ceiling and drool.  No further comment has come from either side at the time of printing.

 

- Farg Igorg, MMN


 

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