Padawan Police Presence Puts Perps in Place (Motor Town)

 Due to an influx of tourism, Police Chief Chris has been busy hiring new (and reinstated) boys and girls in blue. "An increase in illegal street racing, theft, and illegal load stacking requires action," said Chris. "I don't know if I've hired the right folks, but bodies in PD vehicles should help alleviate some of the community's fears."

 

One PD source who wishes to remain anonymous disputes this reasoning, stating that graffiti on the Ara station's exterior was the true catalyst. The source says the defacing occurred while the station was hosting its annual donut eating contest. "He's pretty pissed," says the source. 

Graffiti lol

 

Regardless of the reasoning, "The hires seem to be extremely effective," claims Capt. Z of MMPD. "Last night alone, 23 suspects were either cited or brought to the station for processing by three newly uniformed officer recruits. Ji-yeon, NeViL, and Bubba have been instrumental in helping reduce speeding in traditionally congested traffic spots. Bubba himself went full-on Arthur Morgan, shouting through the loudspeaker, 'Where you think you're goin', boah?' while keeping the peace!"

Some off-duty fishing with Rey

 

Recruits Andi, Revvy, ADHD.exe, and Kitty remained behind the scenes, collecting evidence and processing the perps. Recruit Farg remained at the gas station for surveillance after not understanding he can't put gasoline in an electric vehicle.

 

Chief Chris has decided that the new additions should be good enough, and has paused taking applications for the police force. Unless some knucklehead recruit decides to storm off in a sleep-deprived hissy fit. Again. I have no idea about that.

 

Stay safe, Islanders, and remember - Bubba now has a tank. It is Bob the Tank.



 

 

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Legally Blind Bus Driver Takes Scenic Route (Motor Town)

Image
It didn't look too promising  Tour bus driver Noah Cantsy introduced his passengers to a beautiful river view after nearly driving his vehicle over a cliff. "We all thought it was part of the tour until the tow trucks showed up," said Jimothy James of Wolverhampton, England. "Then we just started taking pictures of them." The tow truck drivers, ShinTheSquid and Jayke, were successfully able to haul the bus from its precarious position and onto land. Nobody on the bus was harmed. Touting Jayke and Shin as heroes, Island Tours President Bo Beau presented each with a melted piece of chocolate and some leftover roast beef. Cantsy, who is legally blind in both eyes, has since been reassigned to a smaller vehicle running tours to Gwangjin, with Beau adding, "He should be fine down there."
Read more

Storm Nears, No Fears; Typhoon's Clear, Islands Cheer (Motor Town)

Image
I got an office. It's cozy.           In a stunning display of petty vengeance, Mother Nature (real name Karen McSnooty), unleashed the storm of the century on Jeju and Oji Islands on the second of September. As power returned rather quickly, reports from the area made their way to MMN. What follows is a piece-by-piece timeline of event s with commentary following.   ThickMommy, Correspondent, Seongsan     There have been no updates out of the island nation since early this morning when the storm hit. Thankfully I can report that many brave individuals made the perilous journey up the mountain late last night in order to supply the villagers of Gwangjin and any incoming refugees with food, water, oil, and even toys for the children. The storm hit sometime this morning around 6 AM. No one has been able to make it to either island to check for damage but we remain hopeful that although the power and internet connections are down, people who chose ...
Read more

The Great Tator Date & Mate (Motor Town)

Image
 Good day Islanders, we've got something so special, it only happens once every five years! As anyone who has been living on the islands for more than a week knows, the Golima Rotator is the largest land animal on the islands.* And with the declining driver skill locally, it's probably the hardest-working! So when do these behemoths have time for a little hanky-panky? Right now! 2020 was bullshit, man It's been a full five years since the last mating season, having taken place in September 2020. With the world in the grips of the COVID-19 pandemic, Rotators were  both confused and "not in the mood", potentially spelling disaster. But this year, "buck-wild" doesn't quite do it justice.   Usually, Rotators mosey in over the course of a week or so, mingling about, getting a feel for who they would like to procreate with. But as it's been ten years since any of the giants got some action, there was no small talk, only Tator fornication.   Folks, to a...
Read more